What is the reason you may not have what you want? 

       You deserve to have what you want in your relationship. Get it right now, don’t wait.

       The reason you may not have what you want in a relationship is mostly that you do not know what you want. And if you do know what you want, and do not have it, that means you are settling for less. Never settle for less.
       Sit down now and write down ten qualities you want in your current relationship. I will do it with you.
       These are the ones highest on my list.
  1. INTEGRITY
  2. COMMUNICATION
  3. ABUNDANCE
  4. BEAUTY (INSIDE AND OUT)
  5. ADORATION
  6. SENSUALITY
  7. UNDAUNTED SUPPORT
  8. NO-CONFLICT
  9. FREEDOM
  10. WISDOM
       Wisdom is big on my list. The love for WISDOM is the true philosophy. In fact that is what the word “philosophy” really means—”love of wisdom”. All the other virtues fall into place when a relationship is based on that. It begins by admitting, “I don’t know all the answers,” but being absolutely clear on the questions, and being tenacious to get the solutions.
       For example, people find their relationship in CONFLICT a lot—but have they ever made an agreement with their partner never to have it? You can, you know. MARKUS and I decided to have a CONFLICT FREE relationship from the very beginning and we pretty much stick to that. The key is deciding in the beginning of a relationship what you really want. Why not? Would you rather have misery? YOU CAN DECIDE to have the ideal relationship you want. It is all up to you.
       TRY THIS exercise with your mate, right now. Both of you write down the ten qualities you want in your relationship. Chances are you will be able to align with them together, or at least see the exact place where you are not aligned.
       For example if one puts down OBEDIENCE and the other puts down FREEDOM, you may have to redefine things here—not such a good match. If one puts down CELIBACY and the other puts down SENSUALITY—you’ve got a problem. Best to call the divorce lawyer.

More and more we are seeing with couples where one wants an open relationship with multiple partners and the other does not. How can that work?

       But in most cases you will find many of the ten qualities in agreement, at least in principle. Now you have to bring these qualities into APPLICATION. Now you have to DECIDE TO APPLY YOUR HIGHEST VALUES and stick to them. It is a decision.

SO GET TO KNOW what you want in a relationship, STATE IT OUT LOUD, and then proceed to align with your partner on these qualities. LIVE AS IF you have them, which in truth you really do—and see what happens! THIS IS HOW YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

Love, Sondra & Markus

Breathe Into What You Want on the BUDAPEST QUEST July 4-11, 2018